I spent my day today surrounded
everyone around me ebbing and flowing
and me, a jetty, stoic and unmoved.
That’s how it is for me, PTSD
pushes me from one extreme to the other
so emotional I cannot be touched then
so far removed nothing can touch me.
Today I let the salt run down me
and I stood in the midst of it
eyes dry and heart still
trying to find a way to reach
out from the haze surrounding me
to touch each and every one of you.
All I want to do is enfold you
take each trembling drop of you
and press you into stillness in
each of my cracks and crevices
build a home within where you can
rest your weary bones.
You have been breaking for so long
I don’t remember a time when I
didn’t hear you, didn’t register
your cries in the night, cold fingers
of your hands grasping at me only to
slide back into the sea and recommence
your crashing melody.
Today I spent my day surrounded
wanting to reach out, to do more
but unable to shake myself from my
All I can do at times like these is
stand. And hope my stillness gives you
something you can safely break against.