i am not sure
this
will be the year i look back on
and say
“that was the year everything
changed.”
but it feels like it is
i can almost hear the narrator
feel
the shift
great plates
aching
against each other
grinding out a world
beneath the surface
their movement so potent
i can already see evidence
in the set of my shoulders
and the planes of my face
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I have a question, hope it’s okay to ask you! Why are there extra spaces between ‘the’ and ‘shift’?
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Interesting use of earthquake likened to the changes in life. Shake ups and obstacles. I think the spacing after narrator seemed to recall plate shifts and it worked there. It worked for me less so at the beginning. I wonder if you were going for tremors? But for me I got tripped up in the reading at the beginning. Its hard to get the right spacing in WordPresslol
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The shifts worked for me. It felt like labored breath or nervousness. Hopefully the changes on our horizon are positive and not negative, which is what we are worried about.
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Great sentiment! Hopeful and ominous at the same time – not sure if the changes are will be positive or negative, which I think makes the piece interesting and ambiguous.
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My favorite lines:
great plates
aching
against each other
grinding out a world
beneath the surface
I like the combination of two threads–the seismic change metaphor and the stepping back/perspective. The first line break sets the mood so well.
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I hear that narrator, too, haha. I read the metaphor as a volcano building up, like St Helens before it exploded. The formatting works well – the scattered spacing and uneven lines adds to the buildup before the defiant final four lines.
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I really like the break at “feel”. It really called attention to the fact that “almost hearing the narrator/feel” the underlying changes happening. I also liked how you framed what was happening underneath to changes the narrator sees in the mirror. Very relatable. I hope things are getting better after a tumultuous year.
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