i am not sure
this
will be the year i look back on
and say
“that was the year everything
changed.”
but it feels like it is
i can almost hear the narrator
feel
the shift
great plates
aching
against each other
grinding out a world
beneath the surface
their movement so potent
i can already see evidence
in the set of my shoulders
and the planes of my face

I have a question, hope it’s okay to ask you! Why are there extra spaces between ‘the’ and ‘shift’?
LikeLike
Interesting use of earthquake likened to the changes in life. Shake ups and obstacles. I think the spacing after narrator seemed to recall plate shifts and it worked there. It worked for me less so at the beginning. I wonder if you were going for tremors? But for me I got tripped up in the reading at the beginning. Its hard to get the right spacing in WordPresslol
LikeLike
The shifts worked for me. It felt like labored breath or nervousness. Hopefully the changes on our horizon are positive and not negative, which is what we are worried about.
LikeLike
Great sentiment! Hopeful and ominous at the same time – not sure if the changes are will be positive or negative, which I think makes the piece interesting and ambiguous.
LikeLike
My favorite lines:
great plates
aching
against each other
grinding out a world
beneath the surface
I like the combination of two threads–the seismic change metaphor and the stepping back/perspective. The first line break sets the mood so well.
LikeLike
I hear that narrator, too, haha. I read the metaphor as a volcano building up, like St Helens before it exploded. The formatting works well – the scattered spacing and uneven lines adds to the buildup before the defiant final four lines.
LikeLike
I really like the break at “feel”. It really called attention to the fact that “almost hearing the narrator/feel” the underlying changes happening. I also liked how you framed what was happening underneath to changes the narrator sees in the mirror. Very relatable. I hope things are getting better after a tumultuous year.
LikeLike